Thursday, November 30, 2006

Parental Love in Parenthesis

"i was in the study room watching lakehouse with my sister (its a really nice show) and someone calls the house. so the phone rings and my brother picks up. then he starts to walk to the study room. then my dad ask him rudely "is it for dominc" then my brother said it is for agneta (my younger sis). then after that my dad says as a remark that his waiting for "dominic's boyfriend" to call.... i mean WHAT THE FUCK ...."
his parents know...
I just have a gut feeling that they know everything.... more then I ever expect them to know...

... much more then what he has expected them to know...

What is wrong??

What is wrong with me loving him?
What is wrong that he loves me so much that he, by nature being an obedient kid... would defy all odds and circumstances... to love me in return?...

why?...

I mean... I'm not some street pickup that will teach your son bad values?
I don't stay out late every night and patronize bars and clubs regularly...

I work extremely hard for what I value in life..
I have achieve good results for the efforts that I put in...

I love God, I love the people around me..
I love my parents and my brothers too...

I know the world, I've seen the world and I've felt the world...

I'm not weak. I can fight, and I can protect...
I'm not poor. I can spend and I can earn...
I'm not sick. I can do twelve pull ups and a hundred push ups without flinching.

If thats not enough,

I'm ready to keep your son close in my arms, safe and warm from the vicious world...


Likewise, I'm sure he will do it for me too...


Why?...

it hurts... all I want to do is to get you to like me and accept me...

if you tear us apart... what do you get in return?

what can you earn but tears, bitter resentment and the assurance that you've scarred your dear son's heart permernantly?..


I don't even want to think....


Its not just puppy love.... don't you see?
Its the love that binds two people together since the dawn of time...


Just close your eyes and think... what do you get out of it?









I love Dominic.

nothing can change that.

not you. not him. not anybody.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

when the world goes wrong...

He loves you...

but the world tears him apart....

Silently, at the corner... with no one to hold on to... no one to cry on...


For once, its beyond my power to do anything...

Once again... I feel helpless as the throes of fate tosses me helplessly against insufferable reality...

If there was anything physical strength could accomplish, I'd move the world for you...
If there was anything knowledge could accomplish, I'd find it for you...
If there was anything money could accomplish, I'd earn it for you...

no.. I'm not joking... I love you THAT much...

but when it comes to parents....

... *cries*

I wish I could do something to help you ease your pain...

Its hard to come out of the closet to your parents.. but like what I said, its better sooner then later right?...

It hurts me to see you being the object of suspicion and distrust... I don't know if your parents will ever like me...
but one thing is for sure, I'll try... at every chance that I can get...

In my life, there if there is one of the few things I'm proud of, is that there are very very few people who dislike me...
because basically, I try my best to please people...

but what can I do when people hate me even before I meet them?...



sobz...

I called him today..

and his dad picked up the phone...

I said "Hi! Is Dominic in?"

and he turned around and said, "Its that guy who calls you every night. Your stupid boyfriend lah!"

I cried...

I guess he couldnt hear... but nobody has called me stupid so blatently before...

but I didnt cry because of that... I know I'm not stupid...

its because for once, I felt the full blow of hatred from his parents...

His dad was really bitter about me calling...



what can I do??


*cries*... I just want to bury my head and cry myself to sleep.....

Cute Worms

Haha.. this is really cute.... The worm is sooo cute..

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Since I'm waiting for RJ to restore her computer, I'd do quizzies!

10 favs:

1) television: don't really like television programmes... is Pokemon counted?

2) flower : sunflowers x)

3) color: bright orange, neon green, black, white and blue

4) sport: swimming

5) mall: Vivocity.. lolz

6) music: soft, love songs... techno, dance and electronica

7) food: a hell lot.... I like most food, except blend food, which includes broth, porridge etc.

8) season: I love spring! Its the time where its most cooling, yet there's sun as well.... and everybody is cheerful =)

9) pet: Golden retriever or guinea pig x)

10) city: singapore?



10 facts:

1. hometown : Singapore

2. hair color: currently, light brown

3. hair length: mid-long

4. hair style: ultra-layered

5. eye color: brown

6. shoe size: 8

7. mood: sleepy... and a bit stressed

8. sexuality: I like guys. Explains it all?

9. status: attached.

10. lefty/righty: righttt



10 things about your love life:

1. have you ever been in love: yeah... still am

2. do you believe in love: definately

3. why did your last relationship fail: over-possesiveness..

4. have you ever been heartbroken: too many times i guess

5. have you ever broken someone's heart: I did..

6. have you ever fallen for your best friend: haha.. yeah.

7. have you ever loved someone but never told them: yeah.. its like a silent wait you know... but its worth it

8. are you afraid of commitment: a bit, but as long as my other half is willing to go through with me, I'm afraid of nothing.

9. have you ever kissed someone you liked: yup. like my boyfriend?

10. have you ever had a secret admirer: errr.. i think so.

10 things this or that:

1. love or lust: love. only love.

2. hard liquor or beer : none

3. night or day: evening?

4. one night stands or relationships: relationships...

5. televison or internet: internet

6. pepsi or coke: Pepsi =)

7. wild night out or romantic night in: Romantic night in..

8. colored or black and white: colored?

9. phone or in person: in person..

10. aim or myspace: none.



10 are you..??

1. are you missing someone right now: yeah... really badly

2. are you happy: better then usual

3. are you talking to anyone right now: no..

4. are you bored: ya..

5. are you german: wth. no!

6. are you irish: no.....

7. are you french: -.-

8. are you police: the police asked me to join them though

9. are your parents still married : yeah

10. do you like someone right now: i love someone now... is that it?

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Yaay! my 100th Quizzy!

-Where were you 3 hours ago?
+ In church, having band practice

-Who are you in love with?
+ Dominic!! haha.. and myself.. =)

-Have you ever eaten a crayon?
+ CRAYON?? YUCKS!!!! wth?

-Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
+ umm.. yeah.. photo album...

-When is the last time you went to the mall?
+ Yesterday? Was at Tangs... kenna cheated into filming some dumb shopping event.

-When was the last time you saw the person u love?
+ long.. long long long time ago... But I have his picture on my phone! so I see him like every 15 mins.. x)

-When was the last time you drove out of town?
+ I live in town, I don't drive, therefore, I've never driven out of town before.

-Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?
+ nah...

-Are you hot?
+ I think I'm quite ok looking... I dont have the ability to rate myself...

-What was the last thing you had to drink?
+ ice water... (I'm kinda put of sweet stuff, after I found out something awful about myself)

-What are you wearing right now?
+ Dark blue running shorts, Quiksilver tee

-Do you wash your car or let the car wash itself?
+ ..... I don't own a car.. yet.

-Last food that you ate?
+ some spicy scallop with garlicky spare rip thingie...

-Where were you last week at this time?
+ Sitting at the void deck downstairs, talking to Dominic..

-Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
+ umm.. nope.... kinda broke

-When is the last time you ran?
+ Yesterday.. rushed down after work immediately because I thought I was late for the shopping event

-What's the last sporting event you watched?
+ Is Hide and Seek with Hello Kitty counted??.. #&*@

-What is your favorite animal?
+ Golden retrievers, and Guinea pigs... x)

-Your dream vacation?
+ Somewhere I can spend alot of money on myself and the person I love, and do lots of stuff I don't normally get to do! so.. I guess it would be Phuket or Bali or something like dat lah..

-Last person's house you were in?
+ can't.. remember....

-Have you been in love?
+ Yup.... still deeply in love now...

-Do you miss anyone right now?
+ yeah... Dominic... I just want to hug him tight now...

-What are your plans for tonight?
+ Try and finish a nice portion of Dominic's present..

-Who is the last person you sent a friendster message to?
+ eh... Desmond, my old primary school friend...

-What is the next trip you are going to take?
+ I'm not sure also.... dear... where do you wanna go?

-Ever go camping?
+ YUP! Looove camps! x)

-What do you want to know about the future?
+ If the person I love will still love me 50 years down the road...

-Are you wearing any perfume or cologne?
+ nope... just bathed

-Are you due sometime this year for a doctor's visit?
+ yeah.. but blood analysis should be out in 2 weeks i think...

-Where is your best friend(s)?
+ hmmm.. some are in internship, some are currently slacking at home..

-Who is (are) your best friend(s)?
+ The ASH =)

-Whats your favorite song?
+ Tong Hua, by Guang Liang, and Bu Dong, by Lin Jun Jie
as well as Little Supergirl by Corrine May

-What are you listening to right now?
+ Nothing... the silent erratic rythem of traffic 25 floors below, and the sound of keyboard typing..

-Do you collect anything?
+ hmm. yeah. Gravitation comics... wahaha... I collect Shonen-Ai pictured too..

-What does your last text message say?
+ Yup... Looks nice - by Dominic

-Do you like hot sauce?
+ Yup yup, cant survive without it

-Last time you took a shower?
+ 30 mins ago...

-Are you someone's best friend?
+ Yeah. I think I'm lots of people's best friend...

-Are you rich?
+ no. I'm beyond poor.

-Are you smart?
+ I think I'm slightly smarter then the average person, but that's only because I contemplate alot only..

Friday, November 24, 2006

Information Overload!!!

I'm learning alot of things in my internship...

The lecturers were right, within these 3 weeks alone, I have learnt so much more then anything that could be taught in poly....

My Final Cut Pro editing skills has soared wayyy high up

- I've learnt how to batch, capture and rewrite timecode
- I've learnt how to differentiate between stuffs like Firewire DV Pal, Firewire DV Basic, General NTSC and so forth
- I've learnt how to properly manipulate the camera to get shots that look professional without using professional equipment
- I've learnt how use the various compressors available for Final Cut pro, and the use for the different formats
- I've learnt how to use Sountrack Pro (note to lecturers who may be reading my blog: GET SOUNDTRACK PRO!!! ITS SOOO MUCH BETTER THEN THE THING WE HAVE IN THE STUDIO!!)
- I've learnt how to edit clips to cater to various occassions, [i.e. general interviews, MTV style, trailers.. etc.]

ok. thats merely for Final Cut Pro alone

I learnt how to use Dreamweaver 8 too!
I was never really good at using Dreamweaver, though I could make a basic page and stuff... but still, there was lots to learn!

- I've learnt what the difference betwen remote/local/testing servers
- I've learnt how to use the various shotcut scripts
- I've learnt how to use FCP transfer protocol programmes
- I've learnt how to use JAlbum, a photo album creating software

I'm much better at Photoshop too!

- I've learnt how to use the scripting and action commands
- I've learnt how to use the automate and batch commands
- I've learnt how to use Adobe Bridge
- I've learnt how to use balance the colors uniformly within a set of photographs

WOW!!

I can't believe I've learnt so much within 3 weeks.
THREE WEEKS!!

Though school life definately gave me the basics, frankly, nothing can prepare a person for working life..... really.

The stress, the working hours.... to a certain extent, the people also....

Ok. For those who think that they've got it bad. Think again. You work for standard working hours from 8-5 (or 6 for some), but count yourself lucky that you dont have to stay up until 10+ or 11 on a regular basis to complete assignments.

and of course, not to mention working on Saturdays AND Sundays. (depending on shoots of course)

BUT!!! Dont get me wrong. I'm not complaining!! I'd never change my internship for any other offers in the world!!!

I still think its super duper fun!

Rushing to film celebrities and interview them, getting to play games that are not even released on the market...
... getting to shake hands with Julien Hee...

I mean... this is the life I always dreamed what my job after poly would be like...

A media technologist..

Currently, because I'm always so willing to help out in every single department, I've learnt to do the work of an AV Producer, a cameraman, a Content Producer and a Web Designer. Which are all various sections of STOMP...
(they call me Mr. "Yes Yes" - because everytime someone asks me for help, I'll say "yes!".. haha)

Its really tough, and I think I squint alot when I face tough stuff... such as when I learnt the file transfer protocol system from Deborah...
I think I nearly pulled out all my hair, coz everybody was so busy also...

[it was 22 November, if you remember the Straits Times front page, there was the picture of the big fumes cloud by Shell]

oh yah, and within 2 weeks, MY NAME HAS ALREADY BEEN ON NEWSPAPER!!!

wahaha. My friends have namecards, but my name is on the Straits Times. BEAT THAT!

lol. Check out 19 November's Sunday Times 3rd page on the Polyclinic!
Its written that the photographs were by me.

haha!. no lah, actually... it was taken by Jeanette. But some mishandlings and miscommunications caused it to have my name written there.

but oh well. all for the best xD


hmm.. and I learnt another thing also... that the Content Producers are like Gods in STOMP... coz the videos have to cater to whatever they want... similar to a director...

Admittedly, I got pissed with one of them, coz that person kept cutting, redoing, destroying my animations and layouts...
but again, Jeanette nicely told me that they're my immediate superiors, so I must always "ren".

wahaha.

I love Jeanette. She's soo uber cool lah... You know, I always thought that editors were all guys, and girls hate doing these kinda stuff.. but when I met Jeanette, my polarized opinions immediately melted..

she's uber hardworking (like working 4am to 10 pm at night!!!)
she's uber nice (she always ask me to eat lunch, and will teach me patiently if I dunno anything)
she's uber happy (she's always smiling!! and that makes me happy too! I mean, what better way to brighten a workplace!)

hahahah..

I think I write too much already lah...

But what the heck.. its a friday, and a Shopping event got cancelled... thats why I'm here with my legs up and writing on my blog..


miss Dominic though...
hope he's doing ok at work too....

Thursday, November 23, 2006

14 Ways To Be A Champion

1. Compliment three people everyday.

2. Watch a sunrise at least once a year.

3. Be the first to say hello.

4. Live beneath your means.

5. Treat everyone like you would want to be treated .

6. Never give up on anybody; miracles happen !

7. Never deprive someone of hope; it may be all they have.

8. Pray not for things, but for wisdom and courage.

9. Be tough-minded, but tenderhearted.

10. Be kinder than necessary.

11. Keep your promises.

12. Learn to show cheerfulness, even when you don't feel like it.

13. Remember that overnight success usually takes about 15 years.

14. Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.

Author Unknown

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

hmm...


You are The Star


Hope, expectation, Bright promises.


The Star is one of the great cards of faith, dreams realised


The Star is a card that looks to the future. It does not predict any immediate or powerful change, but it does predict hope and healing. This card suggests clarity of vision, spiritual insight. And, most importantly, that unexpected help will be coming, with water to quench your thirst, with a guiding light to the future. They might say you're a dreamer, but you're not the only one.


What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Living a different life...

I have always wondered... What if some things in my life never occured?

What if some people never passed by my life?

I think my life would be really different...


A) Name 5 entities in your life that you think has made the greatest impact towards you.

- My parents are Christians

- I have two brothers

- I met Dominic

- I met Samuel

- I met Chong Loon


B) With each entity, describe how life would be different if the situation was different.

1. My parents are Christians
If my parents were not Christians, I would not be a Christian too, coz knowing my nature, I'd delve into study of religion vs science. Eventually, practically (in the worldly sense) would outweigh the nubius reality of supernaturality. Thus making me a hardcore atheist.
Thus being said, it would have an extremely profound impact on my life - one of the biggest in fact.
Firstly, I would not know music. Because the reason my parents wanted me to learn piano was to serve in the church. This would hamper my ability to serve in the choir, and most likely, I would not be able to eventually become the president some day.

Secondly, I would not have much friends. Because by nature, I'm a pretty quiet person. I don't really socialize well in large groups of friends, preferring to stick to one or two.

Thirdly, my moral values will be pretty much down the drain. Without a guiding principle, or a focus in life, I would have stumbled down one of the many way-routes I encountered in my life..


2. I have two brothers
Like it or not, the fact that I have 2 brothers plays an extremely pivotal role in changing the course of my destiny....

Firstly, being the middle child, I was always subject to much neglect when I was young. Frankly. Coz, my parents needed to take care of my younger brother, and they spend alot of time trying to understand my elder brother, presuming that he was taking care of me. This caused me to be quite estranged from my parents and subsequently cause me to dislike them for a period of time

Secondly, with 2 brothers, I hardly ever got what I wanted. Though since young, I was never really in the habit of asking for presents, I always wanted alot of things... Though I knew I would never get them. I also got tons of hand me downs, because both my elder and younger brothers are bigger size then me.
If I were the only child, I'd have the computer all to myself in the early years, and knowing my love for technology, I'd most likely be a pretty accomplished technologist before I even reached 18.
If I were the only child, I'd have lots and lots of clothes! My friends will never ask me "why do you wear the same clothes for one whole year?" and "this clothes are so out of season!".
If I were the only child, I may not be doing so well now, because I would not have the standard set by an accomplished elder brother to meet, and an ultra-smart younger brother barking up your backside breaking every accomplishment you made with ease.

yeah. If I were the only child.

3) I met Dominic.
He is the person that I met for the shortest time in my life, and yet made the most profound and direct change in me.
If I had not met Dominic, I think I'd be somewhere 6 feet below, or on one of the palicide shelves at the cemetery.
No. I'm not joking, because.... I really belive that Dominic is God's answer to my prayer. He came at the time when I was really depressed. And he made me belive in love again...
When they said "all you need is love", they really meant it.. because I realized that I could endure the crazy amount of workload and stress just to know that somebody loves me...

To know that the some one you love, loves you, is enough for you to die for that person. Because you know that he would do the same for you too.
It makes you feel that you want to live your life so that he will be happy, to make him happy...

For once, I understood what it felt like to be truly in love.

That is the turning point in my life...

4) I met Samuel
If you've read my past entries, you would have known that my very first boyfriend was Samuel. A childhood friend who became someone whom I thought I could be together with.
He introduced me into the AJ circle, he brought me clubbing. He changed much more faster then I did... and soon, he was no longer the person I knew.... or wanted to know.

If I did not meet Samuel, most likely I'd have entered the AJ circle at a much later age, known much less people, and of course, I'd most likely have never gone clubbing at all...

He did impact my life. But the thing is.. he only treated the relationship like a stepping stone. Not something to last, but something to tie him over before he steps over to another person.

That hurts.

5) Chong Loon
Hmmm. frankly, he is one hellouver person who changed my life.
No. Unlike what you're thinking, he's straight. Very very straight. But I only knew him well for one year, despite being classmates with him for over 3 years.
His relentless persuit for knowledge and his penchance for working really hard rubbed of me.. and sparked a fire that made me work really hard for my O levels, even though I had been doing really badly before that...

Both me and him were quite identical in the way that we think too much about stuff around us. We both studied expressions of people, we inferred from undertones, we discussed human relationship and philosphy.. We talked about current affairs, and the our take on the future.. and what we really wanted to be when we grew up.

In essence, he opened up my eyes to sort out what I wanted to be, and what my future can hold....

His sole driving force was his determination to be the best. And nothing but the best.

And I wasn't about to let his competition get too easy.

Within 2 months, I overtook 85 ranks in my secondary school to become the top 20 students. And when the O level came, both me and him outshone many people who never believed I could make it.

It was all due to sheer hard work, and the support of friendship.

We worked hard together, and together, we created a spark of determination never to lose.

That impacted my life so hard that it unleashed a potential in me that I never realized was there....





hmm.... so this is one of my more wordy entries...
recently I've been writing alot of wordy entries...

sigh... Dominic said something that made me feel really terrible suddenly...

"... I feel that you want to break up with me, but you don't want to say you want to break up with me, so you're doing this so that I will break up with you."

when he said that, I was stunned. Literally stunned. I couldnt think for like almost half a minute...

I never thought that the signals I were sending out were giving him that message....

All I wanted was him to take more responsibility in the relationship...

I mean, it seems like I'm always taking the active role in the relationship.... And I really dislike having to be the active partner all the time...

I mean, it should be balanced right?...


after he said that message, I felt so guilty... I almost wanted to shut the phone and cry for the rest of the night..

I didnt mean to send out such signals..

and I thought you know that I love you so much...



I dont know what to do.... please tell me what to do?...

Feel. We'll stay with me, and I'll stay with you. Love me, and I'll love you. Be mine, and I'll be yours. I could love no one else. I do not want to love anybody else..... I love ya Dominic, and I know you love me too... =) ~~ Posted by Picasa

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Forget about the entry just now...

I'm really happy now...

Just talked to Dominic.... Released alot of things that I wanted to say...

I guess... he's really serious about me...

and this whole relationship thing...


I'll try and step back, and let him take over from now on... and do it the way he wants, and thinks its best...

=)

coz I love him.

its your decision from now on....

I feel so far from him sometimes....

Its so hard to even meet up nowadays... we don't normally talk on the phone, thats why in the past, we'd meet up quite often...

now, I don't even know whats going on in his life...

he doesnt even know whats going on in mine...

its something like a long-distance-relationship... unrealistic, but where 2 hearts still yearn for each other...

Sometimes, admittedly... I get jealous when he meets other guys and stuff... on an individual basis...
but its hard not to right? Especially when your boyfriend can't even spend time with you... and yet, can spend time with other people...

He isn't free in the evening... and he's always working on Friday and Saturday... Both me and him has church on Sunday...

A relationship is made out of communication and trust... but everything is working against it...

Yesterday, on the way back on the train, I saw two guys... They were maybe sec 3 or 4 from Queenstown Secondary... and, they're definately AJs.
I was sitting at the corner, so I could see and hear them quite clearly...

It reminded me of the time when me and Dominic were always spending our afternoons together...
He was really closeted in the beginning... but I guess, I managed to make him change...

change... alot I guess...

what is a relationship suppose to be like?

is it merely just saying, "I love you to the person everyday"? or "I miss you?" everyday?

I've lost track...

My ex used to want me to meet up with him everyday... wanted me to call him every few hours or so... and would scream if I didnt answer his message within the hour...

This is completely the opposite... We hardly meet at all, we talk for a few minutes on the phone once or twice a day... and the words in his messages can be counted using both hands...

This morning was the ultimate... it was just one word. "Morning."

I just felt really sad... has it deteriorated to such a condition?

most of the time, I'm the one that calls, and most of the time, I'm the one that asks him out..



he always ask me not to be insecure, and not to worry...
its... kind of impossible not to worry in a situation like this...


somehow, the excuse I always give myself for him being like that is that he is a saggitarius, and that they are very free spirited...
but.. something is just not right... coz Samuel and Chris (my exs) were saggitarius also... and... they weren't like that...

It feels so imbalanced...



I sent him a message a few days ago.. that he said made him hurt...

I wrote, "you see, I've to strive to keep the relationship alive.. You've nothing to lose.. and I've everything to lose..."

To me, it seems like he has nothing to lose... because, all along... he has so many people to fall back on...
its like a buffet of choices on the day he breaks up with me...

like, "should I chose him? or him? hmm.. maybe him..."...

For me, I have everything to lose...

because he will be my last AJ relationship... if it ever ends... I've lost contact with alot of my AJ friends... I hardly see any other AJs...

I've argued with friends over him... and I've lost friends as well...


sacrifice?... I wonder... nowadays.. it never seems right...


I feel a dark wave threatening to consume us.. and everything we had...

it hurts... like hell.

Especially when I am powerless to do anything...

When I have already done everything I could...



I love him...
But I'm falling into the trap of becoming slave for him...

I'm not a slave. I'm just a boy.

A heartbroken and sad boy...

I've done so much.... but now, looking back... I guess its kind of selfish to ask...

but.. "how much have you done for me?...."




I wrote this entry in 2 days... and I cried...

still crying now...

I feel like I'm hanging on an edge of a cliff... my hands are tired, and I can't hold on much longer....
From now on... you have to pull me up... or I'll... just let go... and fall to my death...




Like what I said very long ago....

The closing of this chapter will mean the end of this blog.



I love you so much.. I don't want to close this chapter... Will you open a new book with me?...



*cries*

Friday, November 17, 2006

G-cast Functioning Again

Yaay! =)
If you didnt realize, for awhile, my Gcast was off my webby, so whenever you come to my website, you would be merely reading my posts without the constant enjoyment of my favourite songs - by yours truly x)

now its back! hmm... lets hope it doesnt screw up again.. =X

Once I see a quiz I can't help but do it. =X

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Andrew
2. Kyo
3. Axton

THREE SCREEN NAMES:
1. Axton_Z
2. Xtremer87
3. Kyo_19

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUTYOURSELF:
1. I like my body. haha. like really =)
2. My hair? =X
3. My ears..they're always so soft.. haha

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKEABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My shoulders.. wish they could be broader
2. Zits. I totally loathe them.
3. Spectacles. Why on earth do I have to wear specs?

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Eh.Chinese?
2. I'm Singaporean. And damm proud to be one
3. Christian

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Losing Dominic
2. Losing God
3. Losing.

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Food. Yup. Essential
2. Computer/Internet
3. Friends! And my daily dose of Dominic. =X

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:
1. Simple Plan
2. Groove Coverage (Techno)
3. Daisuke - GRAVITATION (Electronica)

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS:
1. Glaring Dream - Gravitation
2. Still - Hillsongs
3. To Zarnarkand - Nobuo Uematsu - Final Fantasy X

THREE BOOKS YOU ARE CURRENTLYREADING / GOING TO READ:
1. Advance Camerawork
2. The Weatherlight Saga - 9 books
3. Gravitation Manga

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. Security
2. Loyalty
3. Love

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order):
1. I have a girlfriend
2. I'm attached
3. Tata Young just pinched my cheeks 3 days ago


THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Face!
2. Body type
3. Strength (don't ask why. I won't be able to stand a weak boyfriend)

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. BLogggingg
2. Going out with friends
3. Gymming

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. I want to cuddle Dominic and fall asleep
2. Have a good bath
3. Sleep (note : third most desire only)

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:
1. I fight and protect the people I love
2. I'm quite short tempered, possesive and highly competitive
3. I have a built like a guy. need I say more?

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A CHICK:
1. I know how to use makeup more then the average girl
2. I love shopping
3. My friends mean more to me then computer games.

THREE CELEB CRUSHES:
1. JULIEN HEE!! (still have it now)
2. The guy called Andrew in Desperate Housewives 2
3. Dominic. haha. He's a celebrity to me =)

Tuesday, November 14, 2006


This in memory of being in love for one year with the person who takes my phone and cam-whores at every opportunity xP ~ =) *hugs* Posted by Picasa

Another Really Long Quiz x)

1.The phone rings. Who do you want it to be?:
Always. I hope that person who called would be my dear... alternatively, I occassionally dream of it being a person telling me I won $1,000,000 randomly.

2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?:
Duh. Or else wad. Kope the cart ah.

3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?:
Both. I love to talk and look at people's expressions, as well as listen to what people truly have to say...

4. Do you take compliments well?:
Haha. Yup... I dislike fake compliments though (compliments that are obviously said to butter me up. =X)

5. Are you an active person?:
Hmm. I guess I am.. I'm not really at home when I can help it, and I love to be outside, be it alone or with friends.. =)

6. If you were abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive?
Err.. I won't like it.. but I guess I will...

7. Do you like to ride horses?:
Hmm... Horses are boring.. how about a tiger or a unicorn? now that. would be darn cool.

8. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?:
Lots and lots and LOTS of camps... I think I can't count with the amount of fingers and toes I have.

9. What was your favorite game as a kid?:
Hmm... I loved to play block catching! Haha.. it involves playing catching either in the school corridoors or in a HDB estate.
I also loved to play monkey bars! =) Oh. besides catching earthworms and grasshoppers... =X
[betcha can't imagine me doing that now.]
I also liked a whole big lot of computer games! (i.e. ZZT, Xargon, Warcraft I etc.)

10. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was married, would you pursue it?:
YUCKs. No way. NO NO WAY. at all.
Firstly, I'm attached. Secondly, married men are usually all damm old.
well... of coz, if he's giving me a million dollars, I wouldnt mind. I'd let him think wild, grab the million dollars, and of coz (in the words of queen Sarah herself), I'd push him down the stairs. =)

well.. 10% of it can be used for a pretty lavish funeral fully equipped with mourners... =X

11. Are you judgmental?:
Hmm. Judgemental? or quick to judge. I guess I jump to conclusions extremely fast... Its a habit I have to kick though. I'm quite an impatient person

12. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you?:
Its... kind of hard.. Because, as a Christian, we believe that anybody who isn't saved, is not saved. So, I mean. Its hard to have something at the back of your mind telling you all the time that your beloved is going to hell right? It really hurts. REALLY.

13. Do you like to pursue or be pursued?:
I like to be persued. yeah. But I usually take the initiative in the end...

14. Can you speak another language?:
Yeah. Computer language. How about Java? err.. ok.
Yup. Chinese. =) and of course Konnichawa.

15. If you had to choose, would you rather be deaf or blind?
DEAF. I think blindness is one of the most saddest things on earth. Though I know being deaf will incapacitate my music skills, I'd rather be deaf then blind...
My memories, my friends... I need to see them...

16. Do you know how to shoot a gun?
hmm... wont answer that.

17. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grabbed?
I'd grab my handphone... and my book of certificates.. I guess. =X
I'd cry for my Gravitation manga and my computer... but other then that... I guess its just it... Just look forward for a newly renovated, or completely new house =)

18. How often do you read books?:
Very often I guess... Currently I'm reading an Epic Trilogy called the Weatherlight Cycle, that spans 9 books, with 11800 pages. Really interesting. I'd rate it better then LoTR even. xD

19. Do you think more about the past, present or future?
Future... coz the present is uncontrollable, like what most people think. - We don't control the present. We control the future.

20. What is your favorite children's book?
Roald Dahl!!! and of course, Astrix and Oblix comics =)

21. What color are your eyes?:
boring brown. (I always wished they were bright grey though)

22. How tall are you?:
1.7 m

23. Where is your dream house located?:
In my dreams? duh. err...
haha... no lah. Its somewhere along the stretch of a quiet beach, with the city not too far away and with a really clean sea...

24. Last person you talked to?:
Dominic

25. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth?:
Yeah. Lots. I mean... Dominic takes pictures with me in the photo booth without the photo booth's camera. you get what i mean?

26. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden?:
what the hell is an Olive Garden? jeez!

27. What are your keys on your key chain for?
I dont carry my keys for display. They're for practical usage.

28. Where was the furthest place you traveled today?
Toa Payoh north? SPH x)

29. Where is your current pain at?:
My eyes... my hair is getting into my eyes... ow ow ow ow..

30. Do you like mustard?:
Hmm.. depends.. I hate the really bitter type... I like the zangy and hot type though!

31. Do you prefer to sleep or eat?:
Eat. YEAAAH. I so hate to sleep.. but sleep loves me. I can't help it.

32. Do you look like your mom or dad?:
Mum. Everybody thinks I look like my mum, though I don't think so. I don't know why.

33. How long does it take you in the shower?:
Ranges from 10 mins (in a rush) to 60 mins (hair, nails, scrub, condition, moisturize... you get it)

34. Can you do splits?:
Yeah. I can split a coconut, a peanut. wahaha.
NO. I can't.

35. What movie do you want to see right now?:
Spiderman 3! Though its nowhere near the release date =X

36. Do you put lotion on your dog or cats?:
I dont have dogs. OR cats. And no. I wont put lotion on them. Wth!

38. Do you think The Grudge was scary?:
Quite. I'd rate it the second most scariest show next to The Ring.

39. What was the cause of your last accident?
(anywayz, to May, the last doer of this quiz : OUCH!)
hmm.... I was at the gym, and I accidentally toppled a bunch of free weights and it fell 1.4 m down on my toe.
ow. Luckily I had my shoe on.

40. Do you own a camera phone?:
Yup! And Dominic loves my phone more then me.

41. What are you drinking?:
err. nothing.?

42. Was your mom a cheerleader?
wow. I would like to imagine so. But no. If not, the mega good looking, flawless complexion, sculptured physique genes so inherent in cheerleaders would have passed on to me already.

43. What's the last letter of your middle name?:
middle name. hmm... I'd like it to be J.
Cool right? Andrew J. Hui.
[gettit? : AJ hui.]

44. Who did you vote for on American Idol?
CLAY AIKEN!! hm.. i never voted for anybody else since.

45. How many hours of sleep do you get a night?
between 6-8 hours. I love my 8 hours of sleep. makes me really awake to take the day head-on =)

46. Do you like care bears?:
yucks. No. I dont like care bears. But I like their opening song.. xD

47. What do you buy at the movies?:
Nachoes, Tacoes, Hot Dogs, Drinks, Ice Cream.. I bet you wonder why I dont include popcorn. Its because I'm completely sick of it.

48. Do you know how to play poker?:
yah. but i suck at it.

49. Do you wear your seatbelt?:
huh? What belt? ehh... whats that leather strap there for?

50. What do you wear to sleep?
short, or pyjamas. If its hot, I'll sleep in shorts. If my brother wants to keep the air con on, I'll sleep in my PJs.
(oh btw. Tata Young sleeps in Pooh Bear PJs. I got that from her from an interview with her today =X)

51. Anything big ever happen in your hometown?:
YES. GST increased from 5% to 7%. WTH?? sian diao lah!

52. How many meals do you eat a day?:
1 meal to 5 meals.

53. Is your tongue pierced?
NOOO!! NEVER!! NEVER EVER PIERCE THE PLACE WHERE 1/2 YOUR ENJOYMENT COMES FROM!

54. Do you always read MySpace bulletins?:
... I hardly log into Myspace. I think its full of Americans. Too full.

55. Do you like funny or serious people better?:
Funny! =) I like some seriousness inside too.. as in. When I talk about serious stuff, I want that person to be serious too..

56. Ever been to LA?:
No...

57. Did you eat a cookie today?:
Yup! Cookie with crispy outside and custardy insides!

58. Do you use cuss words in other languages?
what is cuss words? hmm

59. Do you steal or pay for your music downloads?
hmm. I dont pay for downloads. I think its lame. So.. there's the other option.......

60. Do you hate chocolate?
NO! how can anybody hate chocolate... he or she must have had a very deprived childhood.

61. What do you and your parents fight about the most?:
err. Over my grandmother.
Its irritating. I mean my grandmother.

62. Is your cell usually on vibrate or ring?:
Vibrate. ALWAYS on vibrate. It only rings in the morning to give me a morning splash.

63. Are you a gullible person?:
Hmm. Its hard to lie straight to me in the face, coz I have a wierd sense of emotions.
I read faces like a combination of mathematics and languages...
But I guess I get cheated by the most simplest of things... especially when its right in front of me...

64. Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy?:
(To may again : Yeah. I think so too)
Yup, I need him to feel happy. I've nver been happier before, and I dont think I'd ever be so happy without him as well.


=)


Quiz time over!

**Happy One Year Anniversary** x)

12:00:00 Midnight.
14 November 2006.

We survived.
Despite the overwhelming odds against us, we survived.
Despite time and logic, we survived...

Happy one year anniversary dear, it seems like a day since I knew you, but a lifetime since our first kiss....

Today marks a milestone in our relationship, it showed that even though so many things are against us, our love still prevailed...

You've changed.
I've changed... alot.

Since the little hopeless boy that you met a year ago... to the blonde hair, tough kid you see now...

I've grown from depending on other people, to want to protect the people I love.

I've transformed being a person who have people who revelled in possesing me, to being possesive of the one I love...

I've learned, from mistakes that I made that hurt you so much. To making sure that I can be the best boyfriend that I can be...

Most of all, I've changed. To truly love a person.
More then just looks.
More then just personality.
More then just morality.

Everytime I see him, I guess, the romantic passion kindles ever brightly.

Its being replaced by something more solid. Something that looks towards the future rather then whisper sweet nothings...
Something that will make me argue with the person I love, if I know that he would be doing something detrimental...

Something which will make me work 12 hours , for 5 days a week, just to get 1 day off so that I can spend some time with him...


Yeah... like it or not, a relationship is about sacrifice.
A big sacrifice you think you've made, could seem small in his eyes.
The small sacrifices you made, could have touched his heart really deep.

Its not about the time spent together...
Its about the quality of the time spent together....

Be it talking heart to heart,
or quietly walking down the park holding hands,
or praying in church,
or running round the place to eat food...

As long as we treasure the time we have with each other, our love will never falter...

As long as we treasure the fact that we treasure each other, our love can only grow...

As long as we treasure the love that we have for each other, our love can outlast an eternity...



Once again, happy 1 year anniversary dear...
Its been a great year... I hope to do it, again. and again. and again. and again. and....

haha =)

*hugs*

Sunday, November 12, 2006

A Year Loving On

I'm going crazy...
no... for once, its not about work...

aaahh.... he's... absolutely charming....

shoots.. wish I didnt come go to the SP AJ outing...

soft spoken, good looking, intelligent....
one look, and i couldn help grinning... my hypothalmus (is that wad its called) was going into overdrive...

haha.... AJs like that rarely exist nowadays.... good looking is one thing, to be intelligent is another...
so many AJs nowadays rattle off, quite brainlessly... haha.... thats what i feel.... the femme side is slowly merging with their cognitive ego...

but anywayz... most importantly, he speaks english ABSOULUTELY nicely!!
ok... it isnt a good enough phrase, i'll think of better ones... but ya... you should get the meaning...

tell me this is a crush.... i think its more like retribution...
coz we're like a kilometer apart from each other in school...



anywayz... i shall stop thinking about this stuff! and I'll go to sleep like he asked me too..... *i'm also sleepy lah*

-------- AUTHOR: ANDREW DATE: 9/03/2005 12:29:00 AM -----

i cant really put today into words... except that it was extraordinary...

i thought this day would never come...
i think i gave up...

but well, fate proved me wrong again..........

i dont wanna pinch myself... I'm so afraid that I might be dreaming....


haha


today will be a day I flipped the page of my life once more, and on a new chapter, write another story...
how long will it be, I do not know...

.. and I dont wanna know....

thinking of it can just hurt so much....


I just wanna be in his arms again...
A few steps away from the mrt, I suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of loneliness...

my paced shortened and my heart raced....

is this for real??

my handphone beeped jus in time before i when into my psycho self again... it was him! =)

haha... I'm obsessed...

joking

i really do love him...

his fuzzy hair, his cheekily irritating smile, his forever smiling eyes, his .... his warm hugs...

he's open, but conservative to a cute extent too...
haha...

=)

Still havn't change much... lol..... jus got to know you better.....

i miss you...

one chapter closes, another opens... I dont want this to have an end...

-------- AUTHOR: ANDREW DATE: 11/14/2005 10:24:00 PM -----


Yeah... You guessed correctly... The first quote was the entry when I first met Dominic...

Reading it kinda brought a smile to me... coz it shows that I liked him from the very first time I met him.... It was just a childish crush, coz of his boyish looks and impish smile...

It was the last AJ outing that I wanted to go out with... and I only agreed to go because Leonard persauded me to accompany him to go coz its his first time...

I never believed that the relationship could work out... firstly because I had already lost all hope in AJ relationships.. and secondly because he was really far apart from me in school..

moreoever... I thought it was just a crush, that would amount to nothing...


Events unfolded as a friendship seemed to eviscerate... nobody betrays and break the heart of the person I love...


I guess I lost a friend, coz I never wanted to speak or hear him again...


no. thats not dominic. its the person who hurt dominic.


Its only 3 months later, 14 november... when Dominic agreed to try out...

yeah. I was skeptical...
I couldnt believe it could work out.

You can't blame me... with my past in shambles...


the bottomline is... we survived.

WE SURVIVED.

And we're still surviving... through the hard times, and the good times... we held each other's hand and never let go...

one year ahead...

i wonder what lies ahead...

Will I be able to look at you with the same deep love that I have still in another year?
Or 10 years?

Will I be able to hold your hand and rest my head upon your shoulders?..



one year..


we defied time, we defied law, we defied thought...

nothing can seperate us apart... till the day I see you in heaven, I will protect, guard and love you with all my might...
This is one chapter that I have opened, and the only chapter that I never ever want to close...

My love.

when the world stopped spinning, it seemed like only me and you were left....
-
11/22/2005, Andrew.

i know you want me to promise you that i will never leave you ...but like i say that promises are meant to be broken in a way there for i will never make a promise but will make a vow that will cross my heart .......
- 12/14/2005, Dominic


the whole world was made in pairs ... white to black, up to down, cold to hot, high to low, well i dun know abt the male female thing but i know you complete me and make me whole
- Dominic

Saturday, November 11, 2006

StOMP RockS!

Life is great! Work is fun, and my friends there are cool too! =)

Have been filming quite alot these few days...

Shot :

1) Esprit Grand Opening Fashion Show [Private Event!]

2) Pre-release of Microsoft Xbox 360 : Gears of War

3) British Council Speak Good English Campaign

wahaha... I even managed to talk to Jade from American's Next Top Model, and shake hand with JULIEN HEE!!!

OMG. Yes. Repeat. [Andrew: dont faint]
JULIEN HEE!!!

He's drop dead gorgeous!! Even more in real life!
He has a cute boyish voice that makes me wanna squiggle him!!

=X

Highlight of the whole event? : OF course. Julien Hee.

wahaha. I'm not going to wash my hand for one whole week!

Hmm... but I noticed that he uses foundation and concealer too! And despite all the professional makeup, he had a pimple that was quite obvious... haha..

still.. he is drop dead gorgeous.

Ohhh.. The wonders of being with STOMP...

=)

Internship rocks... I think I'm like the person who enjoys my work the most lah!!

yeah.. work rocks... but it takes me aways from the person I love the most...

He had a split headache suddenly today... I was so worried when he said (or joke) that he "took an overdose of panadol"...

He sounded really in pain... I just wanted to rush over to comfort and hold him...

but I was holding so much equipment that I couldnt carry it along...

sigh...



I've been thinking so many things...
And by this time, you know that when I think too much, situation changes...

I think its about time to let go the vice of suspicion...
And I think its about time to destroy the grip of insecurity...

I feel that he's becoming more defensive everytime I ask...

And I can feel our relationship becoming more and more weaker with each question I ask...

I wonder if you hate me for doing it...


but..
He's not mine to begin with...
He's Dominic... Dominic Teng Wei Wen...

The guy whom I love most in my life...

Its so hard not to question,
but I'll try not to from now on...

Till the day you let me go, I'll never stop loving you....





haha.





btw. Its a very lame question downstairs. =P
by my dear.

........
.......
......
.....
....
...
..
.

question time

you all know the picture of the Tiger in the Tiger beer logo, well if you dun then go and see it ... the bright yellow against the dark cool blue ... well im not promoting tiger beer since i dun really like it ... well i dun really drink much beer .... but i have a question to ask ...

Question: Is the Tiger a male or a female ???

Answer: go to www.seemefeelmetouchme.blogspot.com for answer

Friday, November 10, 2006


(authors note : This is a done in a pique of randomness). Guess guess guess whoes this? TA-DA! OLINDA CHOO!!!! Apparantly she has lost weight. Like ALOT of weight. no. should I say, she's gone inverted. BUT bottomline is... can you belive it?? =X ~~ Posted by Picasa

The gal in the where's wally suite **(hehe... re: red and black stripes) is Jasmine!! She does lotsa stuff! From editing to shooting to reporting to... yupz. bottomline is, she does lotsa stuff! she's happily feasting in this picture! ~~ Posted by Picasa

This is Jennette!! She's one of the nicest people I know! I learnt loads and loads of stuff from her! And I use her computer too! She's really fun to hang around with! =) ~~ Posted by Picasa

These are my colleagues happily feasting on a wide spread of curries and spicy stuff!!!! There was this bittergourd-asam fish curry that was yum yum!!! xD  Posted by Picasa

Today was one of the big bosses' birthday! He has a really cool name, (re: FELIX). haha... He got a really nice cake too! This is like one of the nicest cake I've eaten!! Its made of crepes and cream... and its stack together like pancakes with caramel and custard inside!! OOOOH... !! Somebody get me this cake for my birthday plssss!!! ~ Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Life's Great For Me

Alot of people have given me the
"God created Adam and Eve. Not Adam and Steve." reason to convince me that being straight is the right way.

To me, I think that it does not answer the question, and has no logical standing to even exist.

again, I say. God created Eve FROM Adam so that Adam would have a partner.

After the unfortunate incident at the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve were banished from the garden.

Eve was forever cursed with the pain of childbirth.

Adam was forever cursed to labour and toil.

ok.

So thats that. GO FORTH AND POPULATE THE EARTH.

1) Isn't the Earth unfortunately populated ENOUGH?

2) And no. Being gay does not mean that once the world accepts homosexuality, there will be a decrease in population. - It simply means that the straight guys have more options. HAPPY?

Its like the question "Why is the red apple so sweet?"

and you give me the answer "Because it grows on trees."

like wtf?

NO LINK. - BUAY LIAN -

understand?

Its not like I don't know being gay is "supposedly" wong.

I want to know WHY it is wrong.

Have homosexuals cause harm to society? Or caused war and suffering?
Are they racist or prejudice?

And don't give that crap about AIDS. you know it isnt true.


You know wad?
If I hear another person telling me that Adam and Steve theory, I'm going to slap that person across the face.

I mean it. I've heard enough of it.

Don't give me stuff that I know. Give me the REASON.



-----



Anywayz, work has been great!! Really great!!
I love STOMP!!

Its one of the coolest places to work at! You get to edit videos of people making a fool of themselves (shh.. I never said that... I just meant that some contestants were really bad). And you get to see people singing with to a mop with a plastic bag over their head.

I mean, what more could you ask?

In addition to helping to record voice-overs for ultra hot gals who tell boys how to record music with PSP.

If you don't believe me, just go to http://www.stomp.com.sg

I'm learning ALOT of things that is not thought in school... ^_^

I dont really have a table of my own... maybe not yet. or maybe never... but I'm like helping two really cool people do stuff.... so i'm flitting from table to table to edit videos, record sound, digitize, convert, upload.. whatever it takes to lighten their load...

It's not nightmarish at all, like what everybody has been scaring me about...

The people are sweet - they ask me out for lunch everyday.
There is an ULTRA cute guy who teaches me the workings.
There is a really funny and cool gal who literally thought me all the additional FCP stuff i needed to know.

And today, I get to take cab all over Singapore to take photos of "good looking" hawkers, supposedly nominated by STOMPers all over Singapore...

Bet you all think its really fun right? hmmm... But its gets kinda headachey when all the hawkers look the same, and the place is really hard to navigate.

(i.e. Far East Square - Ya Kun Kaya Toast)
ok, at first glance, everybody would think that Far East Square is at Orchard Road.... But nooooo... Its at Raffles Place. Near UOB towers.
And it doesnt help that its HUGE, almost impossible to navigate thakls to the large crowd of people choked full of deoderant and perfume..

haha.

Parden my sudden outburst.

But anywayz, it was cool. And guess wad? I get to travel for free in a cab. (did I mention that earlier?)
I realized I took 4 different cabs from different cab companies when I reached back.

mega cool.


Life has been great!! I've been munching famous amos cookies, and pinapple tart wedges....
I have the newest SPH smart-card in the building
(heh heh heh)

And! I love my colleagues.. =)

Hope my godsister can come too!

Sunday, November 05, 2006

what justifies right?... what is wrong?....

I don't want to think anymore...

It hurts to think. And it hurts even more to cry...

What is wrong.
What is right?

I will never understand... I don't want to understand...

Sometimes, I fear that the truth will break me...

Its something I don't think I will be able to handle on my own...


I wish I lived in a world where everybody is free to love whoever they choose...

Without rules that break 2 people apart...


Is it so much to ask? To spend an eternity with the person you love?

maybe. maybe Dominic is the answer to my prayer....

maybe God finally relented and our path crossed...


It torments me.......


The love is never problematic.... rather, the world hardly seem to stand against it now...


Father, what are You thinking now?...

Do you even love me?
Why do you set all these rules that go against being with the person I love more then my life itself?
I understand if You want my heart..

But just like how You created Eve for Adam,
Adam loved Eve.
Why can't I love Dominic?...

You say its wrong, wrong and more wrong.
Every rule you said is justified and has been justified
Except this rule that was just said, I don't understand!...

I just don't understand..
I think I've begged you to tell me over a million times...
You always respond to all my prayers...
Except this particular one...

And its just an answer... I need just an answer...

Why?

Are you jealous that another guy might come and take the place of you in my heart?
You know that its impossible, because I love you above everybody, everything and anybody else...

But the torment that its inflicting on me is killing my love for You..

Silently... I do not know if the enemy is causing this... But I bet he's enjoying every bit of this...

Father... I just want you to approve of me and Dominic..

Is it so difficult?

Won't you ever give me an answer?...

It hurts to think, and.. it hurts even more to cry.....
Andrew loves Dominic

Dominic loves Andrew too...
I open my eyes in the darkness

And now I walk blindly forward

Instead of trite cliches

You gently pushed me from behind


Even if I seek it, or even if I will lose it

Thats just the way it is

Accept the miracle that our paths crossed


Now survivor,

Destiny doesnt have to be the way it is

If you have found something that you can believe in


I'll argue for it

I'll pierce right through it

Until we reach to the other side,

And with my pain and scar, as they are

I will walk ahead



- Sukisyo [Theme Song]

will you understand?.... *cries*

After going to a few Catholic Churches all over Singapore, (of course, thanks to Dominic also), I realized that in the order of service, it is very similar to that of Anglicans *(my protestant denomination)....

So, after some consideration, I told Jeremy and Dominic, "Catholics an Protestants are pretty much the same... There are only a few considerations that I do not think is correct: One, the doctrine that deitifies Mary as an ultimate, and two, the belief that all authority comes from the Church of Rome (according to Pope John Paul II)."

So happily, I said that its quite similar....

Coz I always wondered if Catholics were, like Christians, saved too...

But you know, my curiosity is insatiable, so I decided to read up alot more on the Catholic Cathecism Liturgy and Protestant Theology...

The revelation stunned me...

There were so many fundamental differences between Protestants and Catholics... Thats why Martin Luther King created a whole new movement called the Protestants...


Dominic... I know you're going to be angry with me for talking about Catholics again.. but please read this ok?....
Then you'll know why I want so desperately for you to come to my church...

"Are Roman Catholics Saved? They are if they have trusted in Jesus alone for the forgiveness of their sins. However, if they believe that the are saved by God's grace and their works, then they are not saved -- even if they believe their works are done by God's grace -- since they then deny the sufficiency of Christ's sacrifice.
Being a Christian does not mean being a member of the Roman Catholic Church. It means being a member of the body of Christ which is accomplished by faith and trust in Jesus alone for the forgiveness of your sins. It means that you do not add your works to His work. Sincerity doesn't forgive sins. Membership in a church doesn't forgive sins. Doing works of penance doesn't forgive sins. Praying to Mary doesn't forgive sins. Forgiveness is received in the faithful trust and acceptance of Jesus' sacrifice on the cross. You must trust Jesus, God in flesh, for the forgiveness of sins, not a man made ritual and certainly not the catholic saints. Even though Roman Catholic Church affirms the Trinity, the deity of Christ, and His physical resurrection, it greatly errs in its doctrine of salvation by adding works to salvation."


~ Christian Apologetics Reaching Out Ministry



- Protestant
The Old and New Testaments are the only sources of Christian doctrine

- Catholic
Sources of doctrine include:
  • Certain papal declarations
  • Bishops in conjunction with the pope
  • Old Testament
  • New Testament
  • Apocrypha (some additions to the Bible)
  • Catholic Church Tradition
  • Catholic interpretation of the Bible

A1 Protestant
We are justified (saved) by faith alone, not by good works. Good works will result in greater rewards in the afterlife but have no effect on getting saved. This "faith" means relying on Jesus' sacrifice as full atonement for our sins and trusting in God enough to try to live as he said to live. It is not mere intellectual belief in a set of facts.

A2 Catholic
When a person gets baptized his "original sin" is forgiven and God gives him some grace. This grace enables him to do good works. God appreciates the good works and rewards them with more grace. Because the Christian has more grace, he can now do even better works. This pleases God even more, so He gives even more grace, etc.


B1 Protestant
Purgatory is totally unscriptural. Christ's sacrifice on the Cross was the only offering necessary and the only offering sufficient to provide salvation.

B2 Catholic
There are two types of punishment after death: temporal (temporary) and eternal. If a person dies with just one "mortal" sin on his soul he will be condemned to Hell for eternity. If he dies with only "venial" sins on his soul he will be sent to Purgatory, perhaps for millions of years.
Purgatory is exactly like Hell except that it doesn't last forever. Eventually, the person will be released and enter heaven.

C1 Protestant
"Mortal" sin is an extent of sin, a pervasiveness of sin, sinning as a way of life, sinning as a regular practice, not a single sin, regardless of how serious that sin might be, e.g., murder.

C2 Catholic
There are two types of sin: mortal and venial.
A particular sin is either mortal or venial, depending on the severity. (For instance, stealing one dollar from a rich man would probably be a venial sin.)


D1 Protestant
Only God can forgive sins.

D2 Catholic
Catholic priests have been given the power to forgive sins, acting as representatives of the Holy Spirit.


E1 Protestant
The Holy Spirit is Jesus' representative.

E2 Catholic
The pope is Jesus' representative on Earth


F1 Protestant
The pope speaks for no one.

F2 Catholic
The pope speaks for all Christians.


G1 Protestant
It is clear from scripture that there was no "head" apostle in the New Testament churches. Paul expressly and publicly rebuked Peter, the alleged first pope, on one occasion. There is no biblical or historical evidence that Peter was ever the bishop of Rome.

G2 Catholic
Anyone who denies the authority of the pope despises the one who (allegedly) appointed him (i.e., Christ) and therefore despises the one who sent Christ, (i.e., God the Father).


H1 Protestant
Mary had children by Joseph. Jesus' brothers are expressly named: Joseph,. James, Simon, and Jude.

H2 Catholic
Mary remained a virgin her entire life. The Greek word can mean either "brother" or "close relative." The Bible is talking about Jesus' cousins, not brothers.


I1 Protestant
There is no scriptural evidence of the Mary being brought to heaven, and the deitification of Mary into "Mother of Man" is an unscriptural title.

I2 Catholic
Mary was spiritually assumed into heaven (the assumption of Mary) , note: assumption, like Elijah and Enoch. Subsequently deitified into "Mother of Man"







Dominic..... I just want you to realize that there are somethings that are not correct in the Catholic doctrine...

I know you'll be angry with me when you read this... sorry... sorry sorry sorry...

I know that there are alot of things that Christians do wrong too.. like disrespecting God, having a disorderly worship service...

I know you've been a Catholic all your life..

But.. is it too late?....

The statement by Marthin Luther King that sparked the Great Reformation was this:
"The word of God cannot be received and cherished by any works whatever, but only by faith. Therefore it is clear that as the soul needs only the Word of God for its life and righteousness, so it is justified by faith alone and not by works; for if it could be justified by anything else, it would not need the Word and consequently, it would not need faith."
Its not just because I want you to be in the same church as me that I want you to change...

Its because I love you too much to bear the fact that your beloved Cathecism is so fundamentally different...

Please.... Dominic... would you consider changing? Despite all the commitments and roles and responsibilities you have in the church?...

If there is one thing that I could change in you, its this.

This is the only. Singular thing that I pray so hard that you would change....



Experience the real love of God with me please?...
One that requires no tradition, no rituals, no prerequisited debt....



I'm sorry if I hurt you...

I just love you so much...

*cries*

Friday, November 03, 2006

Haha... Guess what dear, this

061103162633-DSC00241
Haha... Guess what dear, this reminds me so much of the time you and me ate at Secret Recipe... *loves*

- This blog was updated through my M1 mobile phone.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Guess what I ate for lunch! It

061102154138-DSC00229
Guess what I ate for lunch! Its so utterly sinful! But its sooo nice also! =D Dominic's house has so much nice food *envy* =P

- This blog was updated through my M1 mobile phone.

Testing out Mobile Blogging!

061102111059-DSC00217
Testing out Mobile Blogging!

- This blog was updated through my M1 mobile phone.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Morphy's Ultra Long Quizzy!

1) How old do you wish you were?
I wish I was at 18+ years old... The year when I had the most "stress", but the funnest friends and company.... And its when I met the person I love...

2) Where were you when 9/11 happened?
I was listening to the radio when it happened. I thought it was a sick MTV joke again... Then I heard *da da da da* (channel news asia) and I was musing how on earth did they bang into those 2 buildings so neatly.

3) What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
I kick them. Then press the button rapidly for a few seconds, then scold "FUCK!" and resign to fate.

4) Do you count yourself kind?
Yeah. I do. Actually, a little too kind sometimes... BUT of coz, who can EVER be too kind right?

5) If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
Section #04, subcode 306A section 5, heading 2.
Andrew's law of metrosexuality states that his body will never have a permernant tattoo, EVER. However, if need be, he might get a temporal tattoo on his arm, that should be removed within the same week.

6) If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
Err. Japanese! ITs so cool. I mean how they speak. I think its cooler then Italian, French, German or even African.

7) Do you know your neighbors?
I know their names, I know they have a cute son. no. I don't know anything else.
Eh. Oh, "Love your neighbours" , therefore, by some aforesaid twist of fate, I love them.

8) What do you consider a vacation?
A vacation is spending a holiday with the people you love, without a single bit of stress at the back of your mind, vast spending power and looking good.

9) Do you follow your horoscope?
I think by default, most horoscopes describe quite accurately a person, albeit being influence by external factors and extreme situations. However, I do not believe that horoscopes govern the future one bit.

10) Would you move for the person you loved?
Yup, I would. But if that person paid for the house completely and I'm just moving in for free, I'd feel quite guilty though.

11) Are you touchy feely?
Haha. I am. Very. Most Taurus are physical creatures.

12) Do you believe that opposites attract?
Depends. It really depends. On who.

13) Dream job?
A dermatologist.

14) Favorite channel(s)?
National Geographic (They have all those cool pictures)
Discovery Channel (Ok. I'm a tech geek)
Cartoon Network (90% of my fav cartoons are there)
Kids Central (where the other 10% are)

15) Favorite place to go on weekends?
Church! I mean, where can you hang out with friends and jam at the same time the whole day.

16) Showers or Baths?
Baths! BATHS BATHS BATHS BATHS BATHS! omg. Duh! BATHS!!

17) Do you paint your nails?
No, but i take reasonably good care of them.

18) Do you trust people easily?
No. I don't trust people easily. Its my upbringing and my lifestyle that has made me not trust ppl easily. But once ppl earn my trust, its quite unbreakable. =)

19) What are your phobias?
INSECTS. I hate insects. Umm... and looking ugly?

20) Do you want kids?
Eh... I'm not sure.. It'l be cool. But I think I'll adopt them.

21) Do you keep a handwritten journal?
I'm currently writing on my "typewritten journal".

22) Where would you rather be right now?
With Dominic, snuggling with him on the bed...

23) Who makes you feel warm and fuzzy?
Dominic! and umm.... a few people =)

24) Heavy or light sleeper?
Heavy if I'm stress-free, light if I'm stress-ful.

25) Are you paranoid?
Very. Its one of my greatest weakness...

26) Are you impatient?
Umm... I can get very impatient... But, I'm normally quite serene.
Only elevators piss me off.

27) Who can you relate to?
err... alot of people... I'm like a conflux of personalities lah

28) How do you feel about interracial couples?
Skeptical, but I take my hat off.

29) Have you been burned by love?
How about third-degree burns, permernant scarring and disfigurement?.
Hmm. I've gone through alot of stuffs.

30) What's your favorite pick-up line?
"Err.... Hi!" *gives sheepish smile

31) What's your main ring tone on your mobile?
Guy Sebestian - Angels Brought Me Here

32) What were you doing at midnight last night?
I just reached home.

33) What did the last text on your cellphone say?
By Dominic, "Haha.... So sweet...."

34) Whose bed did you sleep in last night?
My bed. Duh. WHoose bed do ya think I might be in?
(*secretly hopes Dominic)

35) What color shirt are you wearing?
Tan. Its suppose to be an army styled shirt, but I guess it looks too childish to be.

36) Most recent movie you watched?
Deathnote. Cool. =)

37) Name three things you have on you at all times?
Handphone, Ipod, My silvery choker with "DOminic and Andrew scratched on it"

38) What color are your bed sheets?
Currently its blue. My fav. Blue. ITs deep sky blue.

39) How much cash do you have on you right now?
$0.00

40) What is your favorite part of the chicken?
Between the chicken drumstick and the breast. Is it called a thigh meat?... yeah. ANd of course, the ever fattening Hainanese Chicken Rice - Chicken Skin. The sight of it makes me... shiver in guilt and addiction.

41) What's your favorite town/city?
Umm.. I still think its Singapore... But I really like Bangkok, coz everything there is so cheap.

42) I can't wait till...
Dominic proposes to me. HAHAHA... >_< Maybe in my dreams

43) What did you have for dinner last night?
Err... lotsandlotsof stuff!
Flora's Beehoon
Ryan's Potatoe Salad and Fried Chicken
Somebody's Salad
Jesslin and Meihui's Sushi
James' Chin Chow (between Aizat's vulgur rendition of Atap CHEE and Chin CHIOW)
I can't really remember, but the food was really good!

44) How tall are you barefoot?
1.72 *sigh*

45) Do you own a gun?
Yeah. I think its a pretty good gun at that. Yup. All guys have a gun. *grins*

46) What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
I so love orange juice in the morning, but I like ice-tea or milo also.

47) Where do you think you'll be in 10 yrs?
I should be working... I hope I'll still be with Dominic

48) Last thing you ate?
Hokkian Mee. Its mega filling... I feel so bloated now.

49) What songs do you sing in the shower?
Alot of songs. But mostly I spend arranging my timetable for the rest of the day in the shower.

50) Last thing that made you laugh?
Loooking at the photos we took at the party last night.

51) Worst injury you've ever had?
A 3 inch nail ramming into my head and getting stuck there.
Haha. Gory as it may sound, that's my worst injury ever. I lost alot of things when that happened.
But I'm still as normal as normal can be, with only the scar remaining.. =P

52) Does someone have a crush on you?
Err... I... think so. But she's expressing it in such a horrible manner that I think I'm starting to hate her.

53) What's your favorite candy?
Kinder Bueno, M&M's Peanut and of course, every single nouget that you can find in the market.

54) What song do you want played at your funeral?
Eh. I think I'd want to play Colin Raye's - Love, Me at my funeral... Coz I know some people will be really sad. And I want to tell them that I'm not really gone, I'd be waiting for them at a better place =)

55) Five random people to do this! and why?
errr...
Five random people.
Yup.
Five random people.



I just saw this on my brother's blog. I feel so loved. Completely loved. My elder brother is victorious, followed by people who are charming, capacious, joyous, magnificent, reassurer. Oh! what am I?

I'm an Anomalous. Whats an "anomalous"?

Definition : (anom�a�lous) ([schwa]-nom�[schwa]-l[schwa]s) [Gr. an[omacr]malos] irregular; marked by deviation from the natural order. Applied particularly to congenital and hereditary defects. ....


oh how i love my brotherS ~

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